Sotong :]

Monday, May 11, 2009

i don't really have much to say...
i guess i mend to be alone...
hiax... after so many days i been thinking over and over and there is one thing that i guess you guys must know...
there is a reason why i did not come to school...
there is a reason why i don't want to stay in class...
there is a reason why i cannot even stick with haslina, fanny and fatiin...
there is a reason why i keep going to co-op shop...
there is a reason why i keep a distance with haslina, fanny and fatiin..
i miss you guys...
the time we hangout...
the time we eat at prata shop...
the time we chat about guys...
the time we been together...
when me and haslina was eating together just the two of us...
when me and fatiin were outside co-op shop talking about our secrect...
when me and has chat about thick lip...
there are just too much things for me to tell you guys...
about my work...
about who i like...
about what i have been trough lately...
but...
when i saw you guys with mutz everything seem to disapper from my mind...
when i saw haslina i wanted to ask her to eat with me...
but...
the moment i saw mutz i will be thinking that i should eat alone...
i don't want to keep it to myself anymore...
i just cannot take it anymore...
the reason behind this is...
mutz he is a sensitive person, i don't want him to felt leftout as if i went to stick with haslina he will tense to avoid us. suppose to say avoid me...
since i was the one that mutz does not like, why not i step a step back and let them be...
there is one thing i felt lucky that is i've meet xiao feng and elaine...
they are really nice to me as a friend and they accept me for who i am...
elaine she has known me years, and as for xiao feng we know each others months ago...
thinking back...
i don really who i am...
i wanted for a rest...
i been not sleeping well lately...
i really wanted a rest a deep long rest :]

Monday, March 16, 2009

sorry people i now currently living in my grandma house due to some problem which i don't want to say yup. over there i do not have computer so i cannot update my blog :]

Thursday, March 5, 2009

argh fuck i been thinking of this person who i don't want to think of

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

i now declare that i'm single...
well today i went for exam. i was almost late. after school, mutz, haslina and me had our lunch at banqute. mutz is stress about his work so he never eat. haslina ordered chicken rice and i ordered slice fish noodle. after that we accompany mutz to get his clothes for the dinner at sakura that he suppose to be there eating by now. i get myself a pair of new shoes as mine is spoiled. mutz he went to buy clothes, pants, shoe and bag. i guess he is really into shopping mood. after that i went to his house. his grand mother and his mother is there. he has brought cake so i eaten a bit. the cake is nice. then he went to bath. after he settle all his things i helped him to style his hair. i help him in rebonding and putting on wax. after that ah wei sms me say jeannie sister suppect that his number is not mine. i went straight down to fernvale. finally the matter is resloved. jeannie break with ah wei. he damn sad sia. after that i been wondering... why did darren never message me. then i start to emo... i smoked five stick and been playing cards while waiting for his message. oh ya i dream of him yesterday. in the dream i tell him that i don't like his attitude and wanna a rest on our relationship. then he keep asking me not to leave him. and he told me that he really likes me and wanna stay with me. after a long time, i don't know how long i finally go back to his side and we seem happy :]. after that i jus hang around at the hall. then i went to play basketball with joshua, jia le, ah wei, naszri and a small boy i don't know his name. after a while ester came asking me whats wrong as i look sad than i tell ester about darren then she went to message darren. after a while darren came down and i don't know what to do so i hide myself behind the bush. i heard him and ester conversation. they are speaking softly so i don really can hear a thing. after that he leave and i went out. ester told me everything. he told ester that he just treat it as a three day trail. i felt so hurt. after that ah wei give me a stick and i think that is my six stick. i took it and went behind the bush. i smoked and i cryed. after a while i went with ester, naszri and ah wei to look for darren. he was eating at that point of time. then we went to a garden that on top of the car park. i talked to him and slapped him. the stupid readon he tell me is that he does not want to get hurt again. and he scare that i will break his heart like what his other stead do to him. on our first day he kissed me and touch my ..... accidently ok i don't mind serious. then because of him i quit smoking and never look at guys. i put in all my feelings and this is what i get. and now i don't know why i'm crying like shit...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

well... for today i have exam on auto cad. i don't think i have done it really well. i did not study for my exam at all. so i ended up looking around at my friend answers haha. after exam mutz, haslina, kiat hoo and me went to eat at kfc. after a while ah wei arrive at bedok. we went around bedok for nothing haha. after that we waited for jeannie at the coffee shop. when she almost reach we meet her at bedok libary. ahe got changed and we set off to meet up with manbo and joey. we walk all around gaylang after a while joey called darren to come join us for the buffet. he came and jeannie leaves and everything seem so compilcated. hiaz... i also lazy to continue...

Monday, March 2, 2009

many things happened this few days. too much for me to say :]
so i decided to cut short everything :]

ok start from thursday...
i cannot believe my eyes as fatiin step into the class. i miss her so much. she had been not coming to school recently and finally she came. we had a great time. after school mutz, fatiin and me all went to mutz for the powerpoint thingy and the video as well. he had a new cat and it was all black. many people thinks that black cat represent for bad luck but i don't think so. the cat was so adorable. we had a great time. after doing the project mutz served us with the food that cooked by his mother. they are so yummy. after hanging a while at mutz house i went to my grandmother house which located streets away. i walked all the way there and i found out that the distance is not far after all. around eight plus my aunty leaving and she asked me to go with her as she can give me a lift to my house. when we went out from the lift guess what i saw? i saw my mum walking towards us. so we waited for her for quite a long time. by the time she went down my cousin jus arrived. so she been thinking that we can take a ride on my cousin car which is bigger haha. so she told my aunty to leave first as she can have more time accompany my grand mother. when i reached home it was late night.

next friday...
i waked up late in the morning so i messaged mutz asking weather he wanted to meet up or not. he was showering and i reached the bus stop outside my house. when i reached bedok i message him and he told me that he had meet fatiin at kembagan. i replyed him asking him why did he not message me earlier. i took another bus to kembagan. in the bus i was day dreaming and i missed my stop. so i walked all the way back to kembagan. the distance was far ahead and mutz keep messaging me the same message and some cercastic words. when i reached kembagan i tell him off and i forget did he say sorry to me but from all i remember is we went to school together seems to be quite happy.

followed by saturday...
i went to my grandmother house early in the morning. my cousin are there already. the big news is i have a new cousin!!! he was so cute!!! i watched television for a while and played with my cousin. around three plus i set off to my church. it had been ages since i last went to church. most of my friends there are shoked to see me. i really had a great time. i saw my fernvale gang when i reached my house void deck. i don't what is with me. i just tense to like to lay on darren shoulder haha. late night i asked him some foolish questions and the next thing i know is that we are on stead. haha.

continue sunday...
i went to work early in the morning. people there seem cold to me. maybe because i'm resigning soon? forget about it. the manager there keeps scolding me for nothing. and i hate that. after work i meet up with darren. and... haha guess for your self. :p

finally today...
we had exam today and i reached school early. haslina was shoked to see me. the paper i think i had done it badly. fatiin never come today. i wonder what has happened to her. after school i went to have my lunch with mutz at kfc. i have two dollar fifty cents and mutz pay three dollar for me. he is so sweet. :] right after we eaten and steped out kfc, i saw darren was staring at us. he seem to be angry. i give mutz a hint and i went to talk to him. he say to me that even he is a sissy he also had feeling. don't i ever played his feeling. i been thinking when did i ever played his feeling? after that incident i messaged him that mutz is with ken. after that i catch a bus and went home. otw home darren messaged me that joey is waiting for me at bedok. i been thinking did i forget something? then i remember that i suppose to meet them. i faster alight and took a bus back to bedok. when we all went home i been thinking about darren incident and i tell ah wei about it. ah wei tell me that darren is scare about what i do to the guy that naszri intro to me. and he is just jealous that i was with another guy. that guy is mutz. i have been thinking and thinking. and i think that this time i am serious about the relationship.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

jus now mdm soong scolded haslina for nothing so i felt unhappy for the situation. i try speak up for haslina and yet mdm soong had give me attitude. wad the fuck this is not the first time she had been giving attitude. she tell me off saying that i did not wear the proper attire. so i went and explain to her saying that "one of my skirt have holes on it and for the another is being washed i have no choice but to wear jeans. if you don't want me to wear jeans then what did you expect me to wear? should i stay naked?" i have try to explain to her and yet she had gave me attitude. i really cannot stand her attitude. how i wish that she could just keep her mouth shut. i will be very happy for that.:]