Legendary Angel

can someone help me?

2009-05-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

i don't really have much to say...
i guess i mend to be alone...
hiax... after so many days i been thinking over and over and there is one thing that i guess you guys must know...
there is a reason why i did not come to school...
there is a reason why i don't want to stay in class...
there is a reason why i cannot even stick with haslina, fanny and fatiin...
there is a reason why i keep going to co-op shop...
there is a reason why i keep a distance with haslina, fanny and fatiin..
i miss you guys...
the time we hangout...
the time we eat at prata shop...
the time we chat about guys...
the time we been together...
when me and haslina was eating together just the two of us...
when me and fatiin were outside co-op shop talking about our secrect...
when me and has chat about thick lip...
there are just too much things for me to tell you guys...
about my work...
about who i like...
about what i have been trough lately...
but...
when i saw you guys with mutz everything seem to disapper from my mind...
when i saw haslina i wanted to ask her to eat with me...
but...
the moment i saw mutz i will be thinking that i should eat alone...
i don't want to keep it to myself anymore...
i just cannot take it anymore...
the reason behind this is...
mutz he is a sensitive person, i don't want him to felt leftout as if i went to stick with haslina he will tense to avoid us. suppose to say avoid me...
since i was the one that mutz does not like, why not i step a step back and let them be...
there is one thing i felt lucky that is i've meet xiao feng and elaine...
they are really nice to me as a friend and they accept me for who i am...
elaine she has known me years, and as for xiao feng we know each others months ago...
thinking back...
i don really who i am...
i wanted for a rest...
i been not sleeping well lately...
i really wanted a rest a deep long rest :]

sad sia...

2009-03-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

sorry people i now currently living in my grandma house due to some problem which i don't want to say yup. over there i do not have computer so i cannot update my blog :]

...

2009-03-05T06:36:00.000-08:00

argh fuck i been thinking of this person who i don't want to think of

i just break...

2009-03-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

i now declare that i'm single...
well today i went for exam. i was almost late. after school, mutz, haslina and me had our lunch at banqute. mutz is stress about his work so he never eat. haslina ordered chicken rice and i ordered slice fish noodle. after that we accompany mutz to get his clothes for the dinner at sakura that he suppose to be there eating by now. i get myself a pair of new shoes as mine is spoiled. mutz he went to buy clothes, pants, shoe and bag. i guess he is really into shopping mood. after that i went to his house. his grand mother and his mother is there. he has brought cake so i eaten a bit. the cake is nice. then he went to bath. after he settle all his things i helped him to style his hair. i help him in rebonding and putting on wax. after that ah wei sms me say jeannie sister suppect that his number is not mine. i went straight down to fernvale. finally the matter is resloved. jeannie break with ah wei. he damn sad sia. after that i been wondering... why did darren never message me. then i start to emo... i smoked five stick and been playing cards while waiting for his message. oh ya i dream of him yesterday. in the dream i tell him that i don't like his attitude and wanna a rest on our relationship. then he keep asking me not to leave him. and he told me that he really likes me and wanna stay with me. after a long time, i don't know how long i finally go back to his side and we seem happy :]. after that i jus hang around at the hall. then i went to play basketball with joshua, jia le, ah wei, naszri and a small boy i don't know his name. after a while ester came asking me whats wrong as i look sad than i tell ester about darren then she went to message darren. after a while darren came down and i don't know what to do so i hide myself behind the bush. i heard him and ester conversation. they are speaking softly so i don really can hear a thing. after that he leave and i went out. ester told me everything. he told ester that he just treat it as a three day trail. i felt so hurt. after that ah wei give me a stick and i think that is my six stick. i took it and went behind the bush. i smoked and i cryed. after a while i went with ester, naszri and ah wei to look for darren. he was eating at that point of time. then we went to a garden that on top of the car park. i talked to him and slapped him. the stupid readon he tell me is that he does not want to get hurt again. and he scare that i will break his heart like what his other stead do to him. on our first day he kissed me and touch my ..... accidently ok i don't mind serious. then because of him i quit smoking and never look at guys. i put in all my feelings and this is what i get. and now i don't know why i'm crying like shit...

what to do T.T

2009-03-03T06:49:00.001-08:00

well... for today i have exam on auto cad. i don't think i have done it really well. i did not study for my exam at all. so i ended up looking around at my friend answers haha. after exam mutz, haslina, kiat hoo and me went to eat at kfc. after a while ah wei arrive at bedok. we went around bedok for nothing haha. after that we waited for jeannie at the coffee shop. when she almost reach we meet her at bedok libary. ahe got changed and we set off to meet up with manbo and joey. we walk all around gaylang after a while joey called darren to come join us for the buffet. he came and jeannie leaves and everything seem so compilcated. hiaz... i also lazy to continue...

omg...

2009-03-02T03:53:00.000-08:00

many things happened this few days. too much for me to say :]
so i decided to cut short everything :]

ok start from thursday...
i cannot believe my eyes as fatiin step into the class. i miss her so much. she had been not coming to school recently and finally she came. we had a great time. after school mutz, fatiin and me all went to mutz for the powerpoint thingy and the video as well. he had a new cat and it was all black. many people thinks that black cat represent for bad luck but i don't think so. the cat was so adorable. we had a great time. after doing the project mutz served us with the food that cooked by his mother. they are so yummy. after hanging a while at mutz house i went to my grandmother house which located streets away. i walked all the way there and i found out that the distance is not far after all. around eight plus my aunty leaving and she asked me to go with her as she can give me a lift to my house. when we went out from the lift guess what i saw? i saw my mum walking towards us. so we waited for her for quite a long time. by the time she went down my cousin jus arrived. so she been thinking that we can take a ride on my cousin car which is bigger haha. so she told my aunty to leave first as she can have more time accompany my grand mother. when i reached home it was late night.

next friday...
i waked up late in the morning so i messaged mutz asking weather he wanted to meet up or not. he was showering and i reached the bus stop outside my house. when i reached bedok i message him and he told me that he had meet fatiin at kembagan. i replyed him asking him why did he not message me earlier. i took another bus to kembagan. in the bus i was day dreaming and i missed my stop. so i walked all the way back to kembagan. the distance was far ahead and mutz keep messaging me the same message and some cercastic words. when i reached kembagan i tell him off and i forget did he say sorry to me but from all i remember is we went to school together seems to be quite happy.

followed by saturday...
i went to my grandmother house early in the morning. my cousin are there already. the big news is i have a new cousin!!! he was so cute!!! i watched television for a while and played with my cousin. around three plus i set off to my church. it had been ages since i last went to church. most of my friends there are shoked to see me. i really had a great time. i saw my fernvale gang when i reached my house void deck. i don't what is with me. i just tense to like to lay on darren shoulder haha. late night i asked him some foolish questions and the next thing i know is that we are on stead. haha.

continue sunday...
i went to work early in the morning. people there seem cold to me. maybe because i'm resigning soon? forget about it. the manager there keeps scolding me for nothing. and i hate that. after work i meet up with darren. and... haha guess for your self. :p

finally today...
we had exam today and i reached school early. haslina was shoked to see me. the paper i think i had done it badly. fatiin never come today. i wonder what has happened to her. after school i went to have my lunch with mutz at kfc. i have two dollar fifty cents and mutz pay three dollar for me. he is so sweet. :] right after we eaten and steped out kfc, i saw darren was staring at us. he seem to be angry. i give mutz a hint and i went to talk to him. he say to me that even he is a sissy he also had feeling. don't i ever played his feeling. i been thinking when did i ever played his feeling? after that incident i messaged him that mutz is with ken. after that i catch a bus and went home. otw home darren messaged me that joey is waiting for me at bedok. i been thinking did i forget something? then i remember that i suppose to meet them. i faster alight and took a bus back to bedok. when we all went home i been thinking about darren incident and i tell ah wei about it. ah wei tell me that darren is scare about what i do to the guy that naszri intro to me. and he is just jealous that i was with another guy. that guy is mutz. i have been thinking and thinking. and i think that this time i am serious about the relationship.

what the fuck!!!

2009-02-26T18:40:00.000-08:00

jus now mdm soong scolded haslina for nothing so i felt unhappy for the situation. i try speak up for haslina and yet mdm soong had give me attitude. wad the fuck this is not the first time she had been giving attitude. she tell me off saying that i did not wear the proper attire. so i went and explain to her saying that "one of my skirt have holes on it and for the another is being washed i have no choice but to wear jeans. if you don't want me to wear jeans then what did you expect me to wear? should i stay naked?" i have try to explain to her and yet she had gave me attitude. i really cannot stand her attitude. how i wish that she could just keep her mouth shut. i will be very happy for that.:]

argh~

2009-02-24T02:38:00.000-08:00

i cannot believe it really cannot believe it !!!
i went home late at the day before and my mum scolded me for going home late and telling me that she will resign and let me take care of the family and she is going to follow where ever i go.i don't dare to tell her that after a few weeks i will not be working in sakae sushi and i wanted to go for my dreams as the best hair styler in the world. i'm going to interview in salon and go for the training job. for today i my god brother has come to ite to accompany sally to get her cert. we have a great time really. and for just now i found out that harry is not a bad person after all. is jus that his way of expressing and his way of treating people is wrong. i councled him and hopefully he will change for the better. all i can say is i'm not anti harry anymore :]

wad the...

2009-02-18T21:07:00.000-08:00

erm... yesterday and tuesday i been hanging at my house down stairs the hall there. manbo and his stead is there as well :] and i learn that he and his stead has no house to stay in and no money to eat. i give they some money and hopefully they will be ok. i stay with them almost every moment because i scare that mambo cousin will beat him up again. the last time he kana beat until he went hospital sia then the mother crazy also ask his cousin to find him and beat him. hiax... i somke 5 stick yesterday i guess because really very stress sia. and i now looking for stead not playing but really last for years :]

argh~

2009-02-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

i don't know what time isit now but there is one thing i know that is I CANNOT SLEEP argh~ i don't know why but i tense to wake up every hour i get into sleep. i wonder what has happen to me sia

wad a day!!!

2009-02-16T00:30:00.000-08:00

well i today work up at nine then my dad scold me for nothing what the hell. nvm i went bath and when i was about to went to sch my stomach pain. i cannot believe that i have diarrio hiax... reach sch found out that i forget to bring money. luckily i have save money with haslina haha if not i really dono what to do sia. then we have our lunch at chai chee. the auntie that i buy drink from give me attitude sia. she keep asking the people beside and behind me for their orders and i been standing there for minutes. nvm when i ask for eighty cents change she throw the coins at my hands. what the **** . after that is theory mutz take video haha i down there doing "pole" dance. haha after that we all went home and i walk in the rain all the way haha. it was so cool :] then i jus now see bryan pic all i can tell you is " he really suit a better person"

what the fuck!!!

2009-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

last friday i went to work and as per normal nothing much. yesterday i don't know what is with all my work mate. one by one keep scolding me and scold me for no reason. i really don't know what is with them sia danny the manager scold me for writing down in a piece of paper and pass to the "runner" what the customer need. eg fork, spoon ect... he scold me and so called "shouted at me" why i don't want to take the things myself and why i write down. isit that i'm waiting for my workmate to help me. people know me should know that my memory is not that good and plus there is order also so i have to pass to the "runner" and the things that customer need is i scare that i forget to give the customer. but he got say sorry so i forgive him. :] what a bad day valetine day somemore... no one ask me out. then kana scolding from not just one person but 3 in total got "hui ching", "mei jun"and "danny"hiax... then i went home saw my ah deh nas at the hall there. i dono what is with him he look so emo sia and his birthday is today haha. i wish him a early happy birthday haha right before twelve. after that went home bath and sleep. today even worst no difference from yesterday sia and i don't know what is with my manager. for the whole day she has been pin point on me sia. went home got one malay guy ask me weather i want to make out with him fuck man. i tell him over my dead body and i ain't the lady to mess with haha. i think i shall hand in my resign letter next week and everything shall come to an end:]

omg i cannot believe this

2009-02-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

after mutz reand my blog i think he message haslina saying that he felt like a burden to us what the... i wrote this blog for just one reason that is to let him know the truth and hopefully he will change and it ended up making the issue big hiax... if he were a burden i would have not plead for his forgiveness at last year and i would leave him long ago the reason i stay wit him and get all the critise is because i treat him like my soul mate. i hardly have friend in secondary and primary school i put my friend in first place and i can scacrifise almost anything for my friend maybe this is the reason why my friend tense to make use of me hiax... thinking back i like the old mutz more than the one now and hiax... oh ya there is this one thing he though that he has changed for the better how ever i think the method he change was wrong. i try to help him by telling him the truth however it comes out in another way... oh ya we just say about the message that i messaged him that haslina scold vaugle i messaged him "hey haslina scold vaugle sia because of you haha" and he ask why i message him that haslina scold him vaugle people with head should know that is smth like a joke wad and haslina indeed scold vaugle abt smth abt him i forget liao. now still trying to recall... acutally i wanted to cry while writing this but i cannot because i will look like hantu if i do so.

oh ya

2009-02-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

i yesterday just buy a pink shoe haha i don't know why i this few days so in love with pink
yesterday i went out to eat with ester and dariel my fernvale gang at kfc i wear a pink shirt to go with shoe then my skinny is being wash so i have to wear skirt then they all keep asking me why does i wear until so nice i don't know what to say sia...
then after that i went home and my mother was so shock and ask me why i wear home clothes to school. she bodoh sia haha :D

today earlier in the morning 5.30 i wake up get bath put on make up then come school the night was so hot sia... i went to take bus at 6.00 the sky is so dark i wait for around 15 minutes then the bus arrive i never sleep at bus all the way sia because i yesterday sleep at 9.30 just to wake up early today :] on the way to sch mutz message me that he jus wake up and went to bath. waa so late sia never mind also because i don't really plan to wait so i message haslina weather she want to meet me. she arrive at kembagan jus a few second after i reach haha so cool then we went old chang kee buy things follow by go cheers buy drink haha when we message mutz he still changing so we just went off. he ask us to buy peng kuay the last one is with haslina and she don't want to give up so we tell him that it has sold out then he ask us to buy suen kuey what the hell late still ask people do things and this is not the first time he ask people to do things already loh. he is alive and walking right why can't he but himself? me and haslina was chatting about him and he really changed a lot from good to bad and bad to worst hiax... i don't think that he know that he has changed loh. after that here i am suppose to do work but went online plus ltr have trail test oh my god what to do sia all my work i copy from the computer i don't know how to do... ops luckly no one is looking haha. hope today can pass :]

omg...

2009-02-11T21:01:00.000-08:00

oh my god i cannot believe this i have smelly feet haha
today at class i take off my shoe and i found out that i have smelly feet i think because i have sweaty feet.
oh my god if this continue i wonder how i get a boyfriend sia haha :p

omg what is with me???

2009-02-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

there is this perticular guy i know his name but i don't want to say. he look old and he tell me that he is older than me but my friend tell me that he is younger than me. he is not that handsome, he smoke and he live a few block away from me. he is now in ite first year. i don't know what is with me but i think i somehow like him... i don't know how he feel about me and i don't dare to ask. i think i want to ask him out on valetine but i don't know is he ok with it and somemore valetine day i working argh~ i really don't know what to do.

hey

2009-02-10T00:27:00.000-08:00

well nothing much happen lately
oh yah there is this emptiness in me i don't know why...
seeing couple walking together holding hand...
how i wish there is this someone that will approach me and take my hand...
oh my god!!! what is with me!!!
i must be crazy argh~
but i still wish someone not friend who is a guy ask me out on valetine :]

dono lah...

2009-02-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

tis few days been working so nothing much to say :]

hiax...

2009-02-05T18:07:00.000-08:00

yesterday i went school been doing work haha like real...
during lunch time i follow haslina to find mdm tan shi for the schedule on co-op. seriously i dono what to say loh the so called seniour treat us like shit need people come to us don't need trow as away hey are we smth that can be trow here and there? we are human leh got feelings one ok!!! and the fact is that they are april intake and we are jan intake so which means we are the one who suppose to be seniours never mind forget about it... oh ya after that we plan to eat at prata shop so we head towards prata shop straight after the thick lip (jia jing) that group take over us for the co-op haha.
at the prata shop egnazio, jing liang they all joined us haha but we sit two seperate table. got one bangala come to take order wad the fuck he walk and turn to the other table telling us to wait. hasline says tat he kana scolding by his boss before because we pay to the counter and not to him. so what? customer is always right and even tought we are at fault he also cannot show as this type of attitude what. i been watching him. when he take our order he stare at us like we owe him money not jus that he tell haslina to pay to him and not to the counter before we order and say in a hush way. i been enduring and telling haslina to walk to don't pay for the food we just went off and if he stopped us i will have the chance to scold him but haslina says that it is not very good not to pay so i sayed ok. then he has been surfing other people food with good service and when it is out turn he throw the plate at us not just that haslina ordered teh talik and the bangala served her ice milio so haslina says nicely to him tat she did not order milio and order teh talik guess what he do he grabe the ice milio turn and walked away without saying sorry and make a sound tse and walk off what kind of attitude is this sia? when he gives us our change he throw at us me and haslina got fedup and walk away without eating the food. this is the worst meal i ever had.
after school i went to buy shoe with haslina her shoe is nice but pattern looks old...
after that i went home straight. at home nothing much to do so i went out and saw my friend Easter and went to cut hair with her haha. i don really know what should i cut so she recomended me to cut spike O.O haha but it is nice haha... after that i went back to the basketball court at my house down stair and i saw my friend manbo wit his gf and and ah wei gf waiting 4 ah wei then jie le and joshua playing basketball haha they saw my hair and they never say anything haha then after a while i playing card with joshua and jia le playing my psp haha at around 10+ i went home bath then sleep what a boring day...
today i wake at 7 in the morning i brush my teeth then come school the auntie never sell sushi so i buy sandwich and porky to eat at the mean time i see zaky and my co-op friend so i went to chat with them after a while i went to class guess what i saw no one is in the class O.O haha only me i don't really want to do work so i went to surf net aft a while people tense to come in follow by the teacher... today fatiin got come its a good thing because i'm not alone haha... the bootch as usual nag nag and nag haha i wonder how her son stand her...
fatiin and me hang out outside the therette we eat and drink then accutally we plan to skip lesson but fatiin scares that teacher call her parents hiax... i try to sneek out of class and i did haha teacher don't even know haha...
i'm now down here feeling bored and nothing to do... hiax don't really felt like doing work sia...

hey!!!

2009-02-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

well after mutz read my blog yesterday he seem to change in his character haha.
even tought we are still quarreling haha.
well i have noticed one thing that is i cannot make friend with saggitariuous
don't ask me why because i also dono.
my mum is one and almost everyday we quarrel hiax... i have another friend who is one also and she tense to make use of me hiax... and mutz even tought we are so called close friend but we still quarrel haha.
yesterday stupid sia because only me and around 4 of my friends are working then the customers keep comming in argh~ really cannot cope sia. then at night the side job i'm doing general which means have to clear up most of the thing and at the mean time i have a lot of table to clear. so i ended up clearing table even tought my manager tell me to do my side job. after clearing table my friends never even thank me hiax...
i been doing my things and my friends are all done with their side job left me alone but lucky me i manage to finish in time.
then when i take bus i meet up with my mother who has just finish her work...
dinner i have chicken rice and supper i have bread with egg haha. i was damn so full then today i wake up late because really very tired and my mum make bread with egg again argh~ sick of it sia. i never eat breakfast and just went out from my house haha i've been growing fat loh must really go on diet haha.

omg...

2009-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

i founded out that i've been growing white hair not just one but many argh~

i seriously dono wad to say...

2009-02-02T06:32:00.000-08:00

well... until just now i read mutz blog i founded out tat i was not really good being a friend so i think maybe i can try to change~ change into a better friend/person... i guess so...
some part of his post i don't really agree with it. i was not that type of person that will keep disturbing someone when the person tells me not to.

just take today as an example...
mutz is late for around half an hour and i been waiting and waiting... people who knows me should know that i was quite an impaitence person. so i sms him asking him where is he and he told me that he was on the way in the bus at bedok resevoir road. so i replyed okok and he ended up replying me not to irritate him because he is trying to concentrate on reading his twilight book. i replyed asking why are he replying me in a cercastic way? i don't really like it. if he were to reply me that he was reading a book and asked me not to sms him and he will sms me back once he is done. i will listern to him and will not dirstub him.

most of the time is not just i was the one who is at fault. how can a person quarrel by him/herself? another party will be needed in order to quarrel. so i'm thinking it was not just me who is the one at fault mutz plays a part in it too.

hey attention !!!

2009-02-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

well... i've been thinking... i going to erase the past and start everything afresh :]
so i've deleted all my last tyme post but sadly i found out tat the tag box cannot be erased hiax...